GET TONY’S NEW SINGLE ON ITUNES!!!

 

My new song, “Eating Siamese” (a parody of the 1980 Vapors hit “Turning Japanese”) was released today on iTunes. Just click on the link to the left of this article (GET TONY’S MUSIC) and you will immediately be taken to my iTunes artist page. You can get a “Best of” CD I released last spring as well as the new single. You can listen to samples before you buy. This downloadable music makes for a great Christmas gift. Tony’s music offers a good way to unwind on the way to or home from work. And what better way to say “I love you” than with the gift of a Tony Wolf song? Please support our ministry and snag the new single!

Indianapolis is cold

We are settled in our new home in Westfield, Indiana … and we are considering not going back outside until May. It is a bit chilly here. This morning when I drove to church it was 7 degrees and windy. Tonight when I returned from the grocery store, it was 0 degrees and really windy. Here is what yahoo weather shows for Westfield tonight;

Tonight: Bitterly cold. Windy and becoming cloudy late. Dangerous wind chills as low as -25F. Low -4F. Winds W at 20 to 30 mph.

As I said before, it is cold here. It’s really cold when you are bald. A man with a naked dome should not go outside when living in Indiana in the winter. This is a picture of me just after I returned home from the grocery store today. Like the scarf? Yeah, it’s pretty sweet. I got it on sale at Target. In all seriousness, while we are going to have to adjust, we really like it here. The girls like their new house, their new church and classes. Our church has been wonderful beyond words. That’s all for now. I have to go scrape the ice off of my head and throw my scarf in the dryer.

ADRIENNE IN A CAST

 

I’ve never been in a cast. Laura hasn’t either. Brooklyn and Katie have never broken a bone. But Adrienne can now lay claim to the first broken bone in our family. Long story short, Laura and I noticed her favoring her left wrist a bit and thought “better safe than sorry.” We took her to the doctor today and, after an examination and some X-Rays, found out that she had a wrinkle fracture in her left wrist. For the whole story please see my wife’s blog at http://www.lauralwolf.blogspot.com/

(Adrienne before the doctors appointment)

 

 

 

 

Brooklyn actually dislocated her elbow at, of all places, the emergency room when we were having Adrienne. I told Laura today, “Brooke dislocated her arm, Adrienne fractured hers … I think it’s time we kick Katie’s butt!” Of course I jest. Anyway, here are a couple pictures of our sweet, brave little girl Adrienne today pre-cast and post-cast.

 

(Adrienne after casting. The cast is hard and does damage to things like TV stands, toys and Daddy’s skull!!!)

SOUL REVOLUTION

Recently our Senior Minister Richard Clark asked me (and our staff and leadership) to begin reading a book by John Burke called “Soul Revolution.” Since I am in Indianapolis this weekend, there is snow covering the ground, it’s about 35 below zero outside and I am used to the more southern climates of Tennessee and Florida, I am trying to read this book (or as much as I can of it) today. The book challenges its readers to stay connected to God by spending time with Him at least once every sixty minutes (of every waking hour) for sixty days. As I have read through the first couple of chapters, I have already been challenged by many of Burke’s questions. While this book is already encouraging me to think about the things I desire in life, it isn’t striking me as prosperity gospel. Burke stresses rather that our relationships (first and foremost with God) are the key to life’s fulfillment. Relationships, of course flourish with communication and time spent. As I sit here and think how great it would be to spend some quality time with my wife consistently or how much my girls would like Daddy’s attention once an hour every day, I like the equation presented by Burke as it applies to my relationship with God. This will be new for me (as I’m sure it will be for most who’d accept this challenge). I’ll let you know what happens after I finish the book and go through the program!

SUGAR AND SPICE AND ALL THINGS NICE?

 

 

 

Whoever said that never spent any time with little girls. I thought having three kids without a boy meant I would bypass the really gross stuff. I’m not talking about diapers or even spit up, the stuff that all mom’s and dad’s should be there for. I’m talking about the things that could gag a maggot or cause a pig to get sick. Let me share some insight into the world of little girls from my optical camera over the past few years.

 

 

 

 

 

(Adrienne eating a chocolate doughnut)

 

PLAYING WITH ‘POOH’ – As though it’s not bad enough that kids can’t always control their bowels on a fairly regular basis, my girls have often thought it a good idea to put their hands in it. Why? It’s really not like play-dough or anything … at least not all the time. Adrienne is the worst with this. Every time I have to change one of her #2 diapers, we play a little game. The game is called “Who Can Reach the Butt First?” Each time Adrienne grabs her cheeks before I can stop her, she laughs and looks at me as if to say, “Ha!!! In your face Daddy!” And I can’t help but think, “You win Adrienne … I guess.” Brooke once did something so grotesque that I really can’t bring myself to type it into this blog but it definitely would belong in this section.

 

BOOGIE MONSTERS – Is it normal for girls to chase each other with boogers? It can’t be! It just can’t! Boys are expected to chase each other with their nose matter, fling it, flick it and even eat it – but not girls!!! “No, no, no, no, no,” a petrified Katie shrieks in the back of our van. “What Katie?” I say. “Bookie is gonna’ put her boogas’ on me!” The fact that I actually have to say things like, “Brooke, don’t put your boogers on Katie” is wrong considering that I have three sweet little princesses.

 

GREEN BACON – A couple years back, Laura called me when I was on the road and said, “You’ll never believe what Brooke just ate.” “What?” I said. “Bacon,” said Laura. Bacon? Okay, nothing weird or gross about that, right? But then I started thinking, “We hardly ever buy bacon.” “Laura,” I said, “When is the last time you bought bacon?” “Four months ago,” she said. “Brooke was gnawing on a four-month old green piece of bacon.” I nearly drove off the side of the road. “She wouldn’t give it back to me either,” Laura said. “I had to wrestle it away from her.” She apparently found a piece of bacon that fell down the side of the stove or somehow got under the oven. Can you imagine?

 

CHEMICAL WEAPONS – Hardened wet eye goop. Cup holders containing a mixture of chicken nuggets, moldy old cookies and stagnant lemonade. Gas that could literally sicken a cow. Kisses that have more spit than a boxers bucket. Yesterdays macaroni and cheese that has been heaved back up and into the crib or backseat of the car. Ear wax that looks more like a Cheeto. Drink cups with chunky floaties. This doesn’t even include bathroom items. Sometimes it’s like we live with three of those little pet monkeys than girls.

 

GRAPE JELLY CHEESEBURGER – Today I took my girls out for a Happy Meal at McDonalds. My oldest daughter Brooklyn stood up from her cheeseburger and said, “I’ll be back dad, I have to order something.” I thought, “She has no cash, this could be entertaining.” She walked out of the play area and up to the registers where she proceeded to gesture to a smiling lady behind the half wall. The lady handed Brooke some small white packets. “Ketchup. What a smart girl,” I thought. Brooklyn hopped up next to me and said, “Mmmmm, Jelly!” I looked next to me as my sweet little girl covered her cheeseburger with grape jelly before I could stop her. “Gross,” I said. She smiled as she bit into the bun. With cheese, ketchup, dehydrated onions and purple jelly on her lips she said, “deeeelicious!” Katie reached across the table and said, “Mmmm, Brooke let me try!” Brooke handed her a jelly packet and Katie began to paint her burger purple. Brooke apparently told the cashiers her plan because they were pointing and laughing from behind the glass that separated us. People in the restaurant started noticing and leaving. I couldn’t watch my own daughters eat. I probably should’ve stopped them. Instead, I looked at Adrienne, now 17 months, with ketchup and drool soaked bread all over her face and said, “you are my only hope.” It was disgusting.

 

Laura and I have cleaned our carpets so many times. Pee, Cherry Kool-Aid, spit up, Jelly, poop, chocolate, blood, cheese-whiz, scrambled eggs, orange stuff from a certain family member though we’re not sure from which orifice, boogers, squished unidentifiable objects, you name it. Now even if a 500-pound old man would come inside my home and vomit into a wood chipper, we would be ready for that clean up job and not one bit grossed out.